Season 6, episode 2
True Blood: Season 6
Supernatural soap opera True Blood returns with a bang, as our ragtag bunch of heroes bring the action back to Bon Temps. The Guide reviews.
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- Last week's recap: Back to Bon Temps
Do bloody, merkin-clad, hallucinated Lillith figures count as nudity? Because that episode was fairly light on for nudity. It was all the-morning-after-the-night-before recriminations and new discoveries. However, what it lacked in Alcide's abs, it made up for with DORKY ERIC!
Sookie immediately takes a liking to him BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DOES, and gently tends to his wounds.
So let's flick down our insightful incisors and lap up another Fangs A Lot True Blood recap.
Jason (Ryan Kwanten), Pam (Kristin Bauer van Straten) and Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) in True Blood.
Spoiler warning: These recaps gaily and delightfully revel in the trashy goodness of the TV version, with little (actually no) reference to the original Sookie Stackhouse novels.
First up: the admission that I was royally suckered in by the whole Rutger Hauer thing. I fell into the "ooh-he's-the-big-bad-vampire-Warlow" trap which looks stupidly obvious in hindsight.
In fact, Rutger Hauer turned out to be Christopher Walken, all mad hair and strange speech patterns. And Christopher Walken turned out to be Sookie and Jason's Fairy Grandpappy Niall Brigant, in town to help his kin defeat the evil vampire Warlow. Turns out the reason Sookie is so delicious is that her bloodlines are pure. She's like the Black Caviar of fairies.
Rutger Hauer in True Blood.
So after doing some bathroom-based dimension jumping, Walken/Brigant shows Sookie how to harness her royal light, which isn't a self-help motivational tool, but in fact the generation of mystical fairy power into a ball hotter and more terrifying than the sun. But the downside is that Sookie will have only one chance to use her big ball, and then she'll be "fae no longer". Also it will kill any vampire it touches - gee, I wonder if that's forecasting a noble sacrificial-type vampire death? We should start a book.
Sookie also met Ben, a fairy halfling like herself, who was just casually bleeding-out on a riverbank after being attacked by a vampire. You know, as you do in Bon Temps.
Sookie immediately takes a liking to him BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DOES, and gently tends to his wounds. Remember, this is all 12 hours or so after the love of her life Bill turned into a vengeful god-figure, and she sent the other love of her life Eric packing out of her house. But even Sookie seems to realise she's compartmentalising a bit too quickly, and sends him off alone to find the hidden fairy safe house.
I may be falling for another obvious trap here, but what are the chances that this Ben fellow is Warlow the vampire? If Warlow is the oldest vampire walking, he's probably picked up a few tricks like changing his appearance. And if he's obsessed with fairies, maybe he's sucked a few dry and can daywalk. I'll probably be proved wrong next week, but hey, theorising is what recaps are all about.
Speaking of theories, what actually is Bill? After absorbing the three bloody naked Liliths, he feels all the pain of all the vampires (Emo Bill?), then falls into a trance. Jessica pleads with him to wake up, even hiring a walking buffet to tempt him. Sadly that woman's career was snapped short as Trance Bill snapped her limbs apart and drained her of the red stuff in some highly questionable CGI.
In his mind however, Bill is getting some instructions from Lilith, who chose him to become almost a god, just like her. After lots of mysterious looks and somewhat cryptic clues like "Events have been set in motion", she tells Bill to trust what he sees. Bam! He emerges from the trance and realises he can SEE THE FUTURE AND THEY'RE ALL GOING TO BURN. This is just like when Xena kept having visions of her and Gabrielle being crucified. Although I should really stop putting Xena references in my True Blood recaps.
Eric and Nora get back to Fangtasia to find Tara dying of a freaky special-new-kind-of-bullet wound. Eric manages to rip it out (that was a great line - "I'm getting it out, Pam."), but Norah reminds them that the government had hinted about its new line of weapons.
This is confirmed when Eric goes to visit Louisiana Gub'nor Walter White (still don't know his real name, stopped caring when I realised I like Walter White), and disguises himself as a lobbyist, becoming DORKY ERIC, the most endearing version of our favourite bad boy vampire since PUPPY DOG ERIC in Season 4.
DORKY ERIC tries to restrain his hate for the vampire-hatin' Gub'nor, who it turns out had just been waiting for a chance to unleash hell on hell's creatures. Eventually he jumps into glamour mode - but RUH ROH, the Gub'nor was way ahead of him. Special contact lenses, those crafty humans, what will they think of next? Eric manages to get away by flying (which apparently the humans hadn't realised), and set his hair back to dead-set sexy before hitting up Gub'nor White's daughter from outside her window. Now THAT was some traditional vampire action there - flowy white dress, billowing white curtains, leather-clad seductive blood-sucker... this will be a fun storyline.
I do fear a bit for Alcide. He's getting all alpha packmaster, demanding Sam turn Emma over to the wolf pack and then beating him up when he refuses. Lafayette cops a beating too and we didn't even get to see Alcide's abs as some kind of countermeasure.
Meanwhile, what was with those hipster LA types demanding Sam come out as a shifter in order to advance the civil rights movement? Poor Sam, he just wants to be left in peace.
The Bellefleurs are also looking for peace - Terry is about to confess to his dead war buddy's preggers wife when Arlene steps in to tell her Patrick ran off with another woman. And Andy still can't handle fatherhood; he's last seen in the field of the fairy safe house trying to demand Maurella take them back. Of course, the fairy safe house is where that Ben fellow is headed. Conflict for next week, perhaps?
Gore level: Almost shamefully low. Pulling the glowy bullet out of Tara's gut, and a few punch-ups.
Pining for Sookie: Virtually no-one. Pam was pining for Eric though, in her usual brash way. Nora had to give her the heads-up that he really does love her, before shooting off mysteriously after doing some vampire bible interpretation.
Who got nude? The trio of bloody Lilliths. Tell you what though, those merkins are werkin' overtime.
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