By Christopher Tookey
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The Lone Ranger (12A)
Verdict: Hollywood goes tonto
Johnny Depp (left) stars as Tonto, a spirit warrior on a personal quest who joins forces with Armie Hammer as John Reid (right)
It's tipped to be one of the summer's biggest movies, but Johnny Depp spends The Lone Ranger - in cinemas in August - hiding behind white face paint.
His co-star Armie Hammer wears a mask.
You can't blame them. If I'd had anything to do with it, I'd be wearing a balaclava and writing under an assumed name.
The production team that brought you Pirates Of The Caribbean 1-4 has created - literally - a train wreck of gargantuan proportions.
The movie resurrects a mythic gunslinger of the Old West but does it only to poke fun at how square and stupid he is.
Armie Hammer looks lost and unhappy in his first leading role, and is upstaged in every scene by Johnny Depp (right) as Tonto, his Native American sidekick.
'How could this be worse?' moans the Lone Ranger. It's a darn good question. I suppose it might have been in 3D. And Tonto might have been played by Vince Vaughn.
Depp unwisely plays the whole thing with a dead crow on his head. It's not a good look, but this is not a good film.
This is yet another origin story, showing how pacifist lawyer John Reid travels out west to bring civilisation.
But Reid's brother is murdered, and he swears vengeance, along with his new ally Tonto. The abominable crow-man makes Reid's mask for him, and the Lone Ranger goes on the rampage as a sharp-shooting vigilante, spoiling the nefarious schemes of a railroad boss (Tom Wilkinson).
Johnny Depp plays Tonto with a dead crow on his head and a face full of white make up and comes off as desperate rather than entertaining
The film-makers' contempt for logic, narrative and coherence is manifest. To counteract any heavy stuff, you frequently get Tonto and the Lone Ranger mugging for laughs.
Depp can be a terrific comic actor. When he's desperate, however, he tends to pull faces and do silly walks. He isn't funny. He's exhausting.
For fans of the original radio and TV series, the film comes to life only in the final 15 minutes, when we are treated to a burst of its famous theme, Rossini's William Tell Overture. It's much too little, too late.
NEW: Final trailer for The Lone Ranger
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Source : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2361354/The-Lone-Ranger-review-Run-lives--abominable-crowman.html?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490
